The Happiest Year of My Life
Trying to have more of a heart like Christ this year made me a bit of a dummy. Not because Christ is, but because I’m not Christ. I’m human. I usually operated from the perspective of allowing people to show you who they are and believing it. That worked in my favor on the dummy part, but I was cold emotionally. In order to save myself from hurt, pain, and grief, I never allowed myself to feel too much, love too hard, or express my emotions. My ambition was always welcomed, but my desire to understand and be understood, my desire
The Price Went Up
Exposed her body for a little more attention. Rejected lovers based merely on their net worth. Self-condemnation only appeared when she felt as though he didn’t pay nearly as much as the others. So I looked at her and asked, What more do you want? “To be taken care of,” she responded. “I’m the prize. I’m the golden ticket, and
To Be Humbled
Why does intimidation rise when you see them? Why must you find a way to demean them? It’s as if dreams offend you. Almost like your inability to believe in more requires you to project your limitations onto them. Why does their imagination enrage you? Why does their perception have to align with yours? I wonder if ideas themselves are
The Illusion of More
What happens when the thing you prayed for becomes your normal life? You wanted more. You moved for more. And you got more. But, “more” became normal enough that you started asking for more again. More was always the goal. It gave a heightened sense of a mountain to climb And look at you. Climbing it. The thrill of climbing
Merely An Experience
There’s been debate on whether or not people are merely to be experienced. And I’ve struggled with the idea for some time. My initial thoughts on the situation were negative. What do you mean people are experiences, I thought. What am I, an amusement park? But then I heard the other side. Too many people want to have
There Was Never Another Woman
They lock eyes. There’s a feeling of familiarity here. His eyes start to fall. Her eyes enlarge. Who wronged who? There was a time when they couldn’t last more than 60 seconds without embracing a loving touch. Whether it was holding hands, A kiss on the forehead, Or better yet her hand placed on his thigh to stop the
Without Reverence Love Loses Its Meaning
Pride will have you blinded to realities that are blatantly in front of you. There’s no way this person would see me this way. Fabricating stories in your head to convince yourself of something that was never true. I thought when one says “I do” it means “I do”. Romanticizing moments that actually meant nothing. Writing about feelings that never
Oh Baltimore, Be Good to Me
Oh Baltimore, Be Good to Me As I sit to write this piece, listening to the amazing Ludovico Einaudi, I have to stop to feel. Feel the intense emotions flooding my heart. While I am deeply excited, thrilled, enthralled even, I am also sitting with the feelings of the unknown. The feelings of change. And while change is good, it’s
Te Amo, Mi Casa
Being so far from normal makes me constantly feel alone. People look at me and say, “You’re so accomplished” And I think, I haven’t touched ten percent of the things that I’m after. But I nod. I give thanks. Because that’s the proper thing to do. Proper. To be proper. I’ve tried for a long time. I’ve cosplayed it quite
You Get to Choose What Trauma Does to You
The Night the Bedtime Story Ended Once upon a time there was a young girl who loved a good bedtime story. In fact, it was sometimes the only way she could sleep. She would dance around her room dreaming about being a princess one day in her pretty pink Cinderella dress and her cute little plastic heels. Around 7 p.m.,
