There’s been debate on whether or not people are merely to be experienced. And I’ve struggled with the idea for some time. My initial thoughts on the situation were negative.
What do you mean people are experiences, I thought.
What am I, an amusement park?
But then I heard the other side.
Too many people want to have possession of another.
Want to control one another.
We are individuals who deserve to experience one another without trying to consume each other.
So then I thought, I get that.
That makes total sense.
I see both sides.
Or so I thought.
There were more than two sides.
So I found myself in an internal debate.
Are people merely to be experienced?
Not kept.
Not possessed.
Or harbored.
But experienced.
Merely an experience.
And I landed somewhere that I felt was a strong enough feeling to be discussed.
I realized quickly my problem with being an experience wasn’t the idea of being an experience but who I am being experienced by.
I agree, we are to be experienced, explored, and to bask in the art of one another.
But that only works if we are all seeing each other as people.
And therein lies the problem for me.
You see if I see this man as exactly that, a man, and he sees me as exactly me, a woman, then the idea, the art of being experienced becomes an adventure. And who cares how it ends? Because not every person you meet is to be kept, harbored, or possessed in your life forever.
But what happens when misogyny and misandry are at play?
He does not see me as a woman, but as an object, something to be experienced.
She does not see him as a man, but as a tool, something to be utilized.
And then the art of being experienced is lost.
The feelings of objectification, misuse, even abuse enter the exploration.
And now we are filled with regret, shame, and confusion because while you saw them as human, they saw you as merely an experience. And now the ride is over. The thrill fades. And only one is certain they want to keep riding while the other is already in line for the next rollercoaster.
So the problem was never being experienced.
The problem was being able to differentiate who you are allowing to experience you.
How does she know when he sees her beauty, body, and energy as momentary pleasure?
How does he know when she sees his height, money, and rolodex as a means to get ahead?
So we must sit with reality.
That to be experienced is something that should be gatekept.
Held with high regard.
Saved for the ones who see you.
For being experienced without first being seen as human is no longer art.
