Paradisiacal

And It Starts With You

26 March

Somewhere Along The Way, Self-Prioritization Started To Look Like Distortion.

There’s a difference between prioritizing yourself and centering yourself in a way that distorts reality. Some people confuse self-prioritization with a kind of grandiose thinking where their needs become the only ones that matter. Their feelings take precedence over everything else. So when you express how you feel neglected, abandoned, or unheard, it gets dismissed. Not because it isn’t valid, but because it doesn’t align with how they see themselves.

Self-help language and even biblical teachings can become a crutch. Something people hide behind to avoid confronting what is actually going on beneath the surface. Sometimes what we call “truth” is just perspective shaped by disappointment. So instead of dealing with what is, people begin to live in speculation. Questioning intentions. Overanalyzing words. Trying to decode what someone really meant.

And over time, that becomes their reality. And when you live like that long enough, it does something to you.

Anxious thoughts. A calloused heart. All hidden behind a perfect smile.

Because when you know all the right things, it becomes hard to believe that you could be the problem. So instead of pausing, you double down. You begin second-guessing blessings you were once certain about.

When did dysfunction start to feel like comfort?

When did peace begin to feel unfamiliar?

And when did you stop protecting your foundation?

There Will Always Be Something To Unlearn, Relearn, Or Confront.

And this is where a lot of people get stuck. Because life doesn’t change just because you have learned something new. You can read every book. Listen to every podcast. Sit through every sermon. And still remain the same.

Because growth requires more than awareness. It requires action.

And when action doesn’t follow awareness, something else takes its place.

The more you know, the more responsibility you carry. And if you are not grounded, that awareness can quickly turn into fear. You begin anticipating disappointment before it happens. Expecting inconsistency. Assuming people will let you down.

So your thoughts start to sound like this:

People don’t show up.
People don’t mean well.
They are selfish.

And over time, those thoughts stop feeling like assumptions. They start feeling like facts.

But here’s what often gets overlooked.

You are people too.

And sometimes what feels like self-prioritization is really just protection shaped by fear. What you consistently believe begins to shape how you show up. You start moving differently. Thinking differently. Acting in ways that reflect the very things you say you don’t like.

You withhold.
You distance yourself.
And you justify behaviors you once would have corrected.

Not out of malice, but out of protection.

Because at some point, the thought becomes: Why should I show up for people who didn’t show up for me?

But Growth Requires A Shift

Your pain is real. But it is not more important than everyone else’s.

Your disappointment is valid. But it does not justify becoming hardened.

Just because you have experienced inconsistency does not mean people are not good. It does not mean people won’t show up. It does not mean you are alone. You cannot allow fear to turn you into someone you are not.

There is a concept by Mel Robbins I love called “Let Them.”

If they don’t show up, let them.
If they misunderstand you, let them.
And If they choose differently, let them.

Releasing control creates peace. But there is another side to it; “Let Me”

Let me listen instead of becoming defensive.
Let me seek understanding instead of assuming the worst.
And let me choose relationships that reflect the love I deserve.

We spend so much time trying to manage other people we forget growth begins when we start managing ourselves.