Escaping Purgatory

I never knew a love story could end like this 

You had me mesmerized by your cadence and bliss

You told me everything that made me feel better

Made me believe in your false narrative that you would never 

Never harm me 

Never forsake me 

Never make me feel less than 

Whole time you were preying on my confidence

To break someone like me you need to be calculated 

So your equation was harder than the stats presented 

I know it’s my fault for believing in your sweet lies

But who am to not be in love with the way your eyes intertwined 

You made me feel like I was the one 

I guess I was simply high off of lust 

Momma told me to stay my ass home 

But I couldn’t wait to be on my own 

I didn’t have the means to do it alone 

So I attach to this toxic love that made me feel grown ‘

I know I knew better it just never crossed my mind

That I would be this unlucky 

To be laying in bed with a man who lies

Lies about his tells while I sit there and cry 

The beginning of our story was a fairytale 

I used to believe I was like cinderella 

You found me lost and pointed me in the right direction

Bought me pretty purses and dresses to make me look better

You looked me in my eyes and asked me was I ready 

I said yes as long as you were on my side 

I knew then this shit would get ugly

I just didn’t know I’ll be facing hell at size

God sat me down and said you can do better 

I continued to run away and fell into your arms 

I wasn’t ready to give up this fast lifestyle I was living 

I wasn’t ready to stop making you my God ‘

So as I stared at myself in the mirror 

Examining the bruises and the burn lines 

I see my future very clear 

It will be ending in me burning for eternity 

I call momma and ask if she’ll take me back 

My momma was no longer here

I cried myself to sleep on the bathroom floor 

While you were banging on my door to let you in 

I think we all know how this story ends 

One last line of coke to ease my mind 

One last drink to clear my head 

One last look before we do this 

One final prayer to see if I can make it 

Didn’t hear a quick enough response from God yet 

So I guess this is my time to collect 

Collect the sins of my toxic love story ‘

And wither in my bliss of purgatory 

God, are you still there?

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Poetry Book “Unclothed”

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